David F. Salter

I’m convinced. We’ve lost it. Almost completely lost it. No…not our minds (although some of us certainly feel that way on occasion). We, as a society, have completely lost our sense of leadership. We have no clue what ingredients it takes to be a good leader, nor do we know who is and who is not a good leader. We’ve dropped our guard, and we’ve been lulled into a false sense of security when it comes to leadership. The reasons are plentiful and they’ve all conspired with one another to create this crater in credible leadership.

There was a time in America where leaders were readily identifiable in various fields of endeavor, including athletics, politics and business. Ranking officers in our branches of the military always have had fingers thrust at their chests – “he’s a leader.” But as I write on this morning of October 1, 2009, I am alarmed and concerned about the staggering dearth of leadership in this country. Most rational Americans agree that you’d be hard-pressed to identify a politician on the national stage, of either party and of either gender, who consistently demonstrates exceptional leadership skills. We’ve lost faith in corporate America and in Wall Street. Some might look to their pastor, minister, rabbi or religious leader, but we’ve all seen the shortcomings there as well.

Webster’s defines leadership as:  the position or function of a leader; ability to lead; an act or instance of leading; guidance; direction. What the heck does that tell us? Nada!

Thankfully, I found eight successful female leaders who’ve restored my faith in the prospect that we still might stand a chance to produce dynamic leaders who will guide all facets of our country over the next several decades. For the sake of argument, I’m going to rely upon the research for my new book, Final Four Leadership: 5 Secrets Successful Female Leaders Use and You Should Too! Not only is there a ton of good information in the book, but, as with most projects, there’s a bunch of good stuff that didn’t fit into the book as well. Over the next several months, I’m going to outline here what makes a great leader, as well as dissecting those mistakes we see leaders make that undermine their ability to lead. These are not going to be in any particular order, so you won’t be quizzed at the end.

A great leader possesses the ability to inspire those around her or him to achieve results beyond the limits that those individuals may have placed upon themselves. Most of us want to feel motivated, we want to experience that great sense of accomplishment that coincides with a job well done. But think about this. When was the last time that you accomplished something, anything, that exceeded your expectations? I know you have. We all have. It doesn’t have to be as monumental as creating the 8th wonder of the world. Maybe you surpassed your quarterly sales goal by 75%, before the quarter was over. Most times, when we fly beyond the horizon we envisioned at the beginning of the task, we’ve had someone behind us pushing and prodding us along. Make no mistake that personal initiative and perseverance play a role as well. But I can recall many occasions when my outstanding accomplishments were partly the product of being motivated by a mentor, a teacher, a coach or a parent.

What is one of the essential tools that these successful female leaders utilize to do this? It’s called Personal Touch, and I’ll tell you more about it in my next post.

Leadership Thought for the Week: You don’t have to be the Boss to be a leader; and just because you are the Boss doesn’t automatically qualify you as one.

Because my wife and I don’t get as much time together as I’d like, I decided to sit through the premier episode of a new drama, Mercy. Its main characters are nurses in a Jersey City hospital. My wife’s been a nurse for a decade. In the first 15 minutes of the show, a new nurse, freshly graduated from an Ivy League Master’s program, joins the nursing staff. The two lead characters, taking advantage of the naivete of their new colleague, take her with them to visit a patient who has terminal cancer. Upon pushing open the door to the patient’s room, the two veteran nurses dodge left and right, leaving the newbie in the cross-hairs of flying food from the cranky patient. Her new smock appropriately soiled, the two veteran nurses wink and nod and go about their business.
My wife looks at me and says, “real nurses do that.” I passed off her observation as a typical prank of initiation. But I later recalled a conversation she and I had several years before when she, herself, was a nursing student.
An important part of the nurse-in-training is the clinical preparation where nursing students spend significant hours on various floors in a hospital, attempting to absorb as much as they can about the various medical disciplines while also learning from their mentor.
A frustrated wife came home one evening and said, “nurses eat their young.” My reaction at the time was,”that’s a heck of a way for nurses to encourage and motivate future colleagues.”
While I completely understand hyjinx and gentle hazing of new colleagues, this impresses me as a different dynamic. One that has become pervasive with some in leadership positions.
We seem to have fallen into this trap of those in leadership positions feeling it as their duty to put their subordinates in their proper place. In other words, the leader wants to make certain that everyone knows his or her place (beneath the leader) in the hierarchy of the office or division. This is a futile attempt for the leader to secure his or her place at the top of the proverbial food chain. Trust me, the subordinates aren’t as dumb as they appear.
Is this what we want from our leaders? To be put in our places? To be reminded that we’re an underling?
Meet me back here soon when I start to outline the characteristics of great leaders. Trust me, we’ve forgotten who and what they are.

I’ve been blessed with three daughters, and not once in 18 years have I wished that I had a son. Well, maybe when I’m cleaning out the garage and I could use some help moving a ridiculously heavy item. Of course, with my middle daughter weight training four days a week in preparation for the upcoming basketball season, that’s become less of an issue.
The only unfortunate aspect of my three girls is that they’re all in the teenage years. Which means I’m about as smart as a box of hammers.
They’ve had in incredible impact on my life, mostly positive ways. One of their more significant contributions has been their influence on my writing. My just-released non-fiction book, Final Four Leadership, is inspired by my oldest daughter’s foray into the college search process. My audio book in 2004 was likewise motivated by my girls.
Final Four Leadership profiles eight of the most successful female leaders in our country, and it also uncovers five universal secrets they share in successful leadership.
This space will primarily be devoted to leadership and to father/daughter issues. Occasionally I might rant about my Steelers or Phillies, but I promise to keep those to a minimum.
Welcome aboard. My friends with older daughters tell me once my three girls get further away from their teenage years, I’ll begin to reclaim my lost intelligence. So I’ve got that going for me.
P.S. As a bonus, just in time for the Holiday season, we’ve also decided to release my first work of fiction. I Can’t Remember Christmas is being offered at a crazy low introductory price because we want to share an awesome story with you all. Enjoy.

An audio book by David F. Salter

Your daughter’s just turned 13 and, in her eyes, you’ve become as smart as a box of hammers.
Talking to your teenage daughter can raise more emotions than helping your wife select draperies for the guest bathroom. But it’s got to be done.

A recent study shows nearly half of teenagers have had intercourse before age 18. An estimated 10 million girls and women in America suffer from an eating disorder.

In a series of letters to his teenage daughter, Salter discusses a number of critical thoughts that fathers need to share with their teenage girls.

This is not a ‘how-to’ primer from a child psychologist. It’s a candid conversation from a regular Dad who wakes up every morning with three girls fighting for the bathroom, the hair dryer and the “good” hairbrush.

I have a new book coming out in September! Stay tuned for details…